Wednesday, August 28, 2013

HELP! I am turning into a BLOG MONSTER.

The husband came back home last night to discover that there was NO dinner, NO plans for dinner and NO hint of any plans to order any dinner.

After being together for twenty plus years, he KNOWS exactly what to do when I am wallowing in the throws of creativity. Close the door securely behind him and start dialling for Pizza, but NEVER utter the words:
'What's for dinner tonight?'
It's called 'self-preservation' in the Jain household.

The sad truth of the matter is that instead of pouring my thoughts into words on my computer screen, I spent almost five hours prettying up my blog. 

YES, I tried every template, every font and every text colour on the palette to make MY blog look fabulous- so much for the 'journey of self-discovery'!

It's not easy for me to face the fact that while I am trying to exit one kind of rat race (the real world kind), I am parking myself at the start line of another - preparing to jump into the virtual vortex of the BLOGGING world.

I find myself visiting my own pages any chance I get.

How to get new readers?
What makes for a successful Blog? and 
Tips (from 5 to 21) on how to get noticed, have become my permanent google searches. 

I feel for my colleagues at work who HAVE to politely accept little slips of paper with my blog address scribbled on them, peppered with silent pleas to check out my latest posts.

Why am I so desperate to stick another label (i.e. Blogger) on me?

So, I ask myself-  Is this what I really want?

Will my journey of self-discovery twist and turn through this obsessive compulsion I have to get noticed for the work I do?

No, says William Martin in 'The Sage's Tao Te Ching'- 
"The only approval we need is our own."

I promise myself to disentangle the creativity from the publicity. I hope to spend more time writing. And if that writing finds its way to a reader, great! If not, then that's fine too as I relished those moments of creativity.

And just when I thought I'd sorted my thoughts, a friend forwarded me this TED talks video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9Ihs241zeg

(you may want to watch the video before you continue reading)

Yes, the story has to be written.

But, is a story a story if it's not read? Is a picture a picture if it's not seen? Is a movie a movie, if it's not watched? Is a song a song, if it's not heard and then sung again?

What do you think?

How much of our energies should be channelled into making people aware of our creative outbursts? How much is too much? I would love to find out your thoughts on the subject.

And why do I need to justify how I spend my creative energy? Is it wrong for my family to eat Pizza while I polka dot my blog's background?

"It is time to cease worrying about how you are perceived" says William Martin in 'The Sage's Tao Te Ching'.

This journey ain't gonna be a bed of roses- that's for sure.


8 comments:

  1. What a great video! Stories should, indeed be told. On your dilemma about self discovery and tareef, we are all suckers for praise and recognition, aren't we? No matter how much we pretend otherwise, I think each of us wants to dazzle the world with whatever skill we possess.

    Is that petty? I cannot say. But it makes us happy so at least I do let this obsessive need for recognition, thrive and blossom!

    I remember a friend sharing a quote with me:

    "I am not who I think I am,
    I am not who you think I am,
    I am what I think YOU think, I am."

    PS- I am a fan of your writing! :)

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  2. Thanks Shweta.

    I always knew we had a lot in common and now we can start this club of 'tareef seekers'. Although I have wasted almost 3 decades of my life following the 'I am what I think YOU think I am' cycle, I sincerely hope that I can break free- and maybe the process has begun. In the meantime, I shall thrive in the pettiness for just a bit longer.

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  3. You are a gifted writer. Love the video link. Keep telling stories and the audience will follow! All the best.

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    1. I really have to laugh! exactly my thoughts... Atleast your family will order pizza, mine is so clueless that it isn't even funny.... a martyr syndrome kicks in with them Ok! we will make do with left over sphagetti on a toast with some pineapple slices or where is that baked sweet potato, you don't need to make breakfast.... I need to write a blog on that :)

      I want to enjoy what I write... it can be a struggle but when I see some fellow bloggers getting into a rat race, then I feel like " challo theek hai 40 - 50 views" is not bad after all I am not doing networking. I found your blog by chance and an instant connection was made right away... I guess! that kind of magic far more precious!!!!

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    2. Absolutely Ish. The connections I have made via blogging are so precious and take the adage 'you are known by the company you keep' to a new level. My blogger friends see the world more or less as I do- feels great to share and identify with their thoughts and musings. And maybe I'm being cynical, but I don't have to get ready, make coffee/lunch plans to catch up with my bfs (blogger friends)...just log on in my frayed pjs and reap in all the goodness of a friendship without the general 'syapa' or faffing with what to wear! Looking forward to your post on breakfast blogging:) xx

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    4. Syapa - what fun to use you own language..Blogging is perhaps another quieter form of communication.. But today was zucchini day.. after a long time..... I grilled some, grated some for paronthe and some more for chocolate zucchini muffins and some more for saag.... My family will be in for a shock!!......oh! well my blog will have to wait for a while ...:)

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