Reflection post

Have you looked at your reflection is a lake or a river or a shiny steel plate recently? Unlike mirrors, rivers and steel plates often distort the image. One minute it's perfect and the next, it's a blur. Reflections throw back images of what could have been, what is and hopeful glimpses of what lies ahead. Ripply watery images are my favourite---they are abstract, transient and soft like Monet's water lilies.

And then there are images one sees with closed eyes; the introspective kind.

Sitting down to write, after almost a week, I look back at April. It whizzed by like a fast car chase and left me hankering for more. But, it showed me things, some I liked and others I didn't and some I wasn't ready for.

Z followed the rest of the letters of the alphabet with an urgency and an obsession that surprised me and exhilarated me.

Plans, as usual, were made. Big, lofty plans to write first drafts for all 26 letters (before the challenge started) had been made way back in February. Plank by plank, the plans unhinged, caving in to my Netflix addiction, leaving me cold--out in the open. Unprepared and overwhelmed, I wondered why I'd bothered to enter. The penultimate day of March knocked me back to my senses and a list emerged on my lined notepad: letters on the left, ideas on the right. I would jot down ideas in purple, pink and pencil. Then on the day, I'd sit and think and start writing. Ten minutes or two hours later, the topic for the post would rise to the surface, gasping for air, before plunging back into the delicious deep waters of creative writing and take me with it. I LOVED it.

The first post, A, was ready on time. It was a good start. B came blundering on to the screen. I was on my way. I fell in love. No, actually I fell into a self-centered-obsession: obsessed with thinking about what to write, how to start, then to sit and write, to post, to share, to comment, to read other blogs, to read comments and so on. I lived in my selfish blogging bubble for the thirty days of April.

Looking at my reflection in the torrent of this challenge, I see the good and the not so good:

First the good: 

1. Finding other blogs and bloggers: discovering recipes, music, books, stories and salivating over photos clicked by talented clickers was the absolute highlight of April 2016. 
2. Reading comments left by other visitors and replying and writing comments on other blogs and making connections.
3. Writing, writing, writing.
4. Thinking, musing, mulling, behaving a tad like Vincent Van Gogh--obsessed and unable to think of anything other than the blog posts.

The not so good:

1. Follows from point #4 above. This obsession took me away from cooking decent meals, keeping a tidy house and a lot of other mundane activities. I'm not the one who's complaining:)
2. Realising that when it comes to writing/blogging, I turn into a selfish person. I may have started the challenge with noble intentions, such as visiting other blogs and commenting selflessly, irrespective of who visited me. But it didn't last long. As the month progressed, I found myself visiting the blogs that had paid me a visit, too, and shying away from the ones that didn't bother to reciprocate. Maybe, it was the time constraint or maybe, I'm ruthless, after all. 

Comments from fellow bloggers and readers are like beacons. They guide the blogger through the choppy waters of her doubts and dithering and deposit her safely to the shore of her next post. 

It feels good to know that your words have been read, that they've found a reader and that they're not evaporating into ether. It's only human, I guess.

So following on from the point above, I'd like to say a big 

Thank YOU

to all those who paid me a visit, read the posts and left a comment.

Thank YOU

to all those who visited but didn't leave any comments. I'd love to hear from you, though.

Thank YOU to the team at A to Z 

and 

my fellow bloggers for an awesome April.

On the whole, I'd LOVE to do it all over again next year. Couple of 'A to Z' lists (with gaps) have sprung up on my notepad. I might even pick out a theme next year, let's see.

And I'd urge you (dear reader who is also a blogger) to participate next year. It's like going down a slide--it may be sticky to start with, but the thrill gains momentum and then when you land on your bottom on the ground, you look over your shoulder, heart still beating fast with excitement, and think to yourself, 'I did that!'

I entered the challenge as a blogger, but came out the other end feeling like a writer. It feels tremendous.

I didn't know I could write on such short notice and so regularly. I haven't since the 30th of April, but I know I can.

Have a lovely day and hope to see you soon(ish). 
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