The husband came back home last night to discover that there was NO dinner, NO plans for dinner and NO hint of any plans to order any dinner.
After being together for twenty plus years, he KNOWS exactly what to do when I am wallowing in the throws of creativity. Close the door securely behind him and start dialling for Pizza, but NEVER utter the words:
'What's for dinner tonight?'
It's called 'self-preservation' in the Jain household.
The sad truth of the matter is that instead of pouring my thoughts into words on my computer screen, I spent almost five hours prettying up my blog.
YES, I tried every template, every font and every text colour on the palette to make MY blog look fabulous- so much for the 'journey of self-discovery'!
It's not easy for me to face the fact that while I am trying to exit one kind of rat race (the real world kind), I am parking myself at the start line of another - preparing to jump into the virtual vortex of the BLOGGING world.
I find myself visiting my own pages any chance I get.
How to get new readers?
What makes for a successful Blog? and
Tips (from 5 to 21) on how to get noticed, have become my permanent google searches.
I feel for my colleagues at work who HAVE to politely accept little slips of paper with my blog address scribbled on them, peppered with silent pleas to check out my latest posts.
Why am I so desperate to stick another label (i.e. Blogger) on me?
So, I ask myself- Is this what I really want?
Will my journey of self-discovery twist and turn through this obsessive compulsion I have to get noticed for the work I do?
No, says William Martin in 'The Sage's Tao Te Ching'-
"The only approval we need is our own."
I promise myself to disentangle the creativity from the publicity. I hope to spend more time writing. And if that writing finds its way to a reader, great! If not, then that's fine too as I relished those moments of creativity.
And just when I thought I'd sorted my thoughts, a friend forwarded me this TED talks video: